The Beard's Blog

Movember in Fiction

fictionrecords — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 16:45:29 +0000

Dear all
I knew it would take a lot
To trim my chin
Then this came in!
Please join in
Or get giving
Fiction page for donations: http://uk.movember.com/mospace/873728/
Bestest!

#13… Bergen

fictionrecords — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 13:25:39 +0000

Fuck me this is tough

Sitting on lush green grass

In bergen, Norway

Listening to white lies soundcheck

Sun on my back

Not a cloud in my head

Its friday and holiday awaits

White lies have nearly finished their new record

Its epic I am exstatic nay jurassic!

They will take the world by storm

And new global stars will be reborn

Elbow still tinkering

Alice gold starting and twinkling

Her superb new orbiter vid

Made for just a few quid!

Maccbees are ruling featival stages

Latitude taken and Reading awaits

Crystal castles bring dark dance parcels to eastern castles and fields of people wearing sunglassses

Tired pony thrilled at the forum, lightbody and buck owning them

Kate nash tore glastonbury apart and the roundhouse also found out, and wished her a happy birthday

Much mirth we did see

Japanese voyeurs have finished their mighty debut Gggggarth richardson steeering it

Matthew P and gilly is the girl for me. He sings so sweet and sure plays a mean guitar!

Maximum balloon with egg and spoon and an array of class, put together by top brass mr sitek

Music to make daleks dance!

#012 Matthew P

fictionrecords — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:14:22 +0000

From the stage with the steel panther

In the Wembley arena

Comes a signing to the fair fiction

A man of the country

Who surfs

And sings

While plucking strings

Of his guitar

A future star

That will be seen from afar

We welcome him into our arms

From the Suffolk farms

To put smiles upon our faces

Songs in our hearts

MATTHEW P

For that is he

Please join me

To welcome he

To our party!

And together great things we shall see

Love

Fiction

#011 Airport Lounge

fictionrecords — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 09:46:23 +0000

Sitting on a floor in an airport lounge
Missing home and tired as hell
LA’s a place where its tough to keep pace
They’ve all had work done on their face!
Nice!
Um not
Its been raining here , and that’s a problem, they all forget to drive when the water hits the streets
The rocks have fallen and mud has slid
A total mess in the hills
No contact from the outside world
A blissful thing
Or a stressful thing?
Cayotes in the street just stand and stare
Scorpions in the garden just don’t care!
Off to nashville now to see white lies as they proceed to outstrip the kings of leon
Then back to the LA place
To see the patrol set the pace and then with grace bow and depart for the green of ealing
For some healing with my family!
See some funny sights here, like a 30 foot mexican, with tyres for feet
A man in the airport security queue who didn’t have feet being asked to remove his shoes!!! Poor fella! They wouldn’t take no for an answer then the blushing and apologies began!! Ouch!
Got lost in the topanga place, lost in the head that is for all those of you who haven’t been to the topanga place!!! A place for freedom and experiment without retribution, sometimes without resolution, but never rebuktion!! (Does that word exist?)
Turning up at half past four (afternoon) to find em still up from the previous day
Thinking I was some burglar or vagrant being led astray!
We all laughed about it after! Poor shelster!
Listening to death metal with garret lee
Behemoth on youtube! Well core blimey!
Withh cc dwelling in a happy hippy house
Creating masterpieces without a shout
Been full of fun and just a little mystery
The clouds have gone and so has natures sympathy
Back to scorching and baking and boiling
Alice continues here fight with black widows
Broken ribs and fluffed up pillows
Clint mansell and alan moulder both continue to smoulder under the sun
Having fun gettin work done

So a week has gone
And I am run
Into the ground
But feeling sound
And glad to be doing my thing
Coz it fills me and makes me grin
With excitment about music
And art
And life
I am a lucky man!

#010 Transatlantic…Again.

fictionrecords — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:09:24 +0000

Usa usa usa

Nyc makes u mental

LA drives u nuts

But essex?!!!! Hmmmmm

What a summer to be locked in an office?

Tis shining on our ian

What a start for the legend that he is

Stellify flying

Album tracks impressing

End of year show to come

As well as the album

The rest is as great

Trust me!

Athlete about to drop

The albums huge

Despite the press’s inability to hear it!

Is it me or are the press a bunch of *****?

They knock you without even listening

And big you up if they feel they need

Xx is cool but inaccessible

Athlete is massive and all embracing

No answering back now!

No letter of the week to nme with a snyd repost pasted below Did anyone actually listen to athlete’s first record?

Beats included!!!

Yup they have been at it for years

Unlike those sad journos who only just discovered it, since bumping into animal collective this year!

So V beckons us

I am filled with dread!

But will be fun

And sun

Let’s hope for one

More tune

To see us through the rest of summer

Am missing reading

But will bestival it up

With some weird get-up!

Now rest up

The weekend is a comin

#009 On The Road…

fictionrecords — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:28:10 +0000

So travel broadens the mind

But it also messes with your rind!

Been in LA and on my way to the Big Apple

The sun’s in the sky and makin me feel high

Last week the elbow went all yanky

They played the Wiltern in Los Angeles

An art deco extravaganza

Where there massive tunes imbued all with hope!

A pair of hobbits attended!

Frodo and Merry tapped their hairy feet

The night was made complete

Then a party was thrown

And vodka red bull consumed

Xibit came down

N pimped my hire car while I was around!

A swan in the Topangan Hills woke me up

Then back on a plane to England I took

Elbow remain in the N. American place

On tour with the Coldplay

It should ace

They do the Letterman show on the Wednesday this week

Then return to the UK to serve V Festival a treat

Am gutted that Maccabees and White

Lies weren’t Mercury nominated

Both albums should be exonerated

Masterpieces they both surely are

The judges I feel must’ve been remiss

But then again the list is well strong

Just think that they should’ve been on

Anyway off to NYC

A treat to see

Will be

Tool

At the All Points West festival!

Can’t bloomin wait

They will be magnificent

And hang with elbow

And meet loadsa peeps

Who blog and who tweet!

Probably!

Albums to come

Athletes Black Swan is a peach

Ian Browns My Way is a treat

Detroit Social Club is comin along

Kate Nash is sounding strong

And the Patrol are working some magic

And couple of newies in the pipe

From this job there aint no respite!

The rain is here

So summer is fighting for its say

At least this morning it isn’t grey

A momentary lapse

In the crazy weather map

That screws with our physique!

Blimey!

#008 Post Glasto…

fictionrecords — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:37:22 +0000

And so glastonbury served up treats

After a rainy start

Through which filthy dukes waltzed with glee

We found a home in a big ole tent

And under the awnings we imbided many much things!

Not much of which was food!

Some of which could radically change your mood!!!

Soul food from another dimension

So to speak!

And before we knew it the sun was up on Friday

After fighting a bacon butty down

We headed of for our first appointment

The anointment

Of the Maccabees at Glastonbury

To a tumultuous crowd

They sang of love , lost and gained, and lycra and masks

And lego and kind words

A total fucking triumph

Then to see the view spew forth! Jesus!

Followed by the lies so white

With a mighty set , they slayed the field

And we all sang LOOOOOVE AND DEEEEATH!!!!

Stormed it

And then the night was taken up and rammed home by The Horrors – magnificent and the impecible Animal Collective

With friendly fires making us dance and lady gaga making us laugh

Then staggered around till the dawn via Shangri la and trash city back to the tent where all were alive and well! Well sort of!!!

Saturday comes , with nurofen in hand and a beer in the other we head to the eagles of death metal

Who put a grin on me face and then the tap, tap the top of everyones head and Stonehenge falls over and the dwarves embrace

Of to hockey for a yawn! Followed by the gaslight athem

Good, then 5 songs in on walks the boss and the place goes radio rental!!! THE festival moment

Some Florence and her machine and the gorgeoius Golden Silvers

Then beers and jeager n coke n a smoke

Then white lies sever all ties with this world and enter the upper atmosphere thanks to the golden voices of 10,000 lovers

Death is monstrously big!!

One way to celebrate

The boss

Who is the boss

Because he is the boss

Peerless

And so the music dies and we head to the bar or several bars and shake our asses

And buy Jarvis cocker a lager with a double vodka slipped in, and see a klaxon who is hallucinating!!!

And stephen fretwell all watch the sun rise over another glorious glasto

THE BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD

Have cried a lot this week

Hurry up next year!

Love ya mate

#007

fictionrecords — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 18:00:20 +0000

We wait with trepidation to see what glasto will serve
Will it piss with rain
Or be kind see the site and swerveWhatever comes we will still have funs with maccabees and white lies too They”ll be tunes to entertain yous
Filthy dukes will smash up the tents
And fictions finest will be heaven sent

In other news and other cuts
Ian brown has dropped a bomb!
Athlete record is right simply divine
Also enjoys some heavy stuff
With cult of lunas eternal kingdom
Isis deliver a slice of pop!!!! Hahah
With wavering radiant a monsterous hum
Tom Waits has always smashed it
Nothing bad about his one called Alice!

From puscifer to nine inch nails
A few new things I just can’t reveal
Chase status death remix
An awesome twist, a dubstep fix

Met the legend that is billy gibbons
His beard is massive and his hat was class
Duff makagan wrestling with relentless drinks
N ryan and kate and jonny marr
Pete shelley drunk at the bar
Elbow won another gong
And white lies too
Mojo we thank you

Elbow scooped a bunch o ivors
I feel in a bush
and me wife was uninspired
But a top night was not depressed
As florence and her machine asked to marry me And badly drawn boy was well funny!

6 months has been very kind
Hope the rest is all sublime!

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#006

fictionrecords — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 09:31:36 +0000

And so the lies begin

Their conquest of all within

Their musical grasp

The first of many

Awards that weigh heavy!

And bring a bevy

Of adoring fans

To gawp and smile

As their tunes twist and beguile

Never a gloriouser band was there

To tread the boards from London town

To foreign places of well renownd

And return with rosy cheeks

And smiles that go on for weeks

Bringing their anthems to the crowd

Who scream them back twice as loud

Respect to one and all

Who helped them climb the wall

To see success

And shout a resounding YEEEEEESSSSSS!

White Lies

Well impressed!

#005

fictionrecords — Thu, 28 May 2009 16:30:56 +0000

And so the barca did so numb
The man utd bandwagon
But elbow keeps on winnin n winnin
Ivors now
The joy was spillin

From cups
And statues
That floated round pubs
Then into clubs
And dud heads
With dreads and big cab rides home
To groan
About the hugeness
And yet happy and satiated
No, ingratiated
Goddam blow away really!!!!
But truely they are peerless
Perveyors of the finest quality tunes
That make grown men swoon
And leslies go bendy knees!!
And the patrol wil roll
Forever
For class will last, and soon it will come to pass They surpass the mast that is 2……..u?!!!!
Brilliant
And huge
And lovely
And cool
Lies of white will paint the summer of death And filthy dukes will dance it better Yuksek will reset and rejet and remix and refix Maccabees will warm and rejoice And with a huge new voice Be THE choice for all who love tunes that swoon and embrace and entrance And hence enhance your parlance with the world Detroit from newcastle will be a magic. Parcel for 2010 In the gap?
some zen from the social men!
New compadres are athletes
The are replete with an album so complete you will lose a sheet Or two Coz its glorious Its soaring Its got balls and its tear envoking Provoking Just brilliant And japanese travellers beware There’s some goodness to come from their voyeurs And finally ian brown He is making a masterpiece Wisdom reigns from his sweet refrains With huge barrelling music That makes you up for it!!
And one new act to come
Not home yet
But on the front path
Satchel in hand
Am wetting myself about them
But we’ll have to wait
Until its our gem!!!!
Nash in the studio
Oh How coolio
She’s workin with a dude you know!